Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time

 

Time. We can’t stop it, we can’t fast forward it, we can’t do shit but watch it “march on,” as the saying goes.  We are a world obsessed with time, some cultures to more or lesser extents than others. In the US we are pretty obsessed.  Everything comes down to when – at work, at play, with friends, at home, with kids, at the doctor, at the auto shop, at the grocery store – everywhere.  We cannot escape time, and we often feel that we have so precious few minutes that every minute must be regulated; accounted for.  “Well, let’s meet at 10:15, because at 11am I have a meeting until 1pm and then at 1:15……” and so it goes for most of us, most days of the week, most weeks of the year.  I am no exception – I schedule, plan, distribute and then redistribute my hours and minutes.  I get irritated when someone is late – therefore causing me to loose 15 or 40 precious minutes, which could have been allocated to something more exciting than waiting for someone or something.  Due to the fact that my life isn’t really that exciting, I’d say that I become irritated with the waiting more because I lack patience than because I have something more exciting to do with those minutes.  I do love the cell phone commercial with the roll-over minutes – where the kids want to throw them away or sell them at the garage sale and the mom gets so pissed.  For me that commercial embodies how most of us feel about time, especially for those who are busy – work, families, homes, travel, friends, etc. etc.  How much does time rule our lives?  Are we even capable of knowing? Let’s compare!  Having lived and worked in a few countries, I’d like to use this post to discuss global perceptions of time.  My sincerest apologies if I describe time in your country and you disagree – comments welcome!

 

Mexico: Ahorita.  That pretty much sums it up.  Ahorita means “in a minute,” and that minute can actually mean 60 seconds in rare cases, but what it really means is later.  And what later means is anyone’s best guess – an hour, 3 hours, tomorrow, next week, and quite often it just means never.  At first I really thought it meant “in a minute” so I would wait and wait, not wanting to pester people (and for a few months not really wanting to talk at all – since my Spanish sucked and it was stressful just to think about how to ask the question to begin with) or seem anymore “gringa” than I already was – which of course was 100% – maybe 150%.  When it had been longer than I could stand to wait, and then an hour or day after that, I would ask again, and usually get a response along the lines of “have some patience! No te preocupes. Te prometo que voy a hacerlo YA.”  This literally translates into “Don’t worry! I promise that I’m going to do it right away!”  This actually translate into “calm down you crazy American! I’ll do it when I’m good and ready, which might be in 2 minutes and might be never.”  The more adamant the response to promise to get it done immediately the less of a chance of it ever getting done – as if they know full well they’re not going to do it, so want to make it up to you by insisting that they promise it will get done.  Finally I just realized that shit might not get done, and the meeting that was scheduled for 1pm might happen at 2, or maybe 3pm.  The world was still going to keep on turning, and if I really wanted something done, I better just do it myself (which was usually impossible).

 

South America:  While my first example was specific to Mexico, this next section is relevant to all of South America, and probably all Spanish speaking countries, really.  I’m talking now about specified meeting times, whether it is a meeting for work, an outing with a friend, or a party at a specific location.  In these instances, it is imperative to NOT be the first loser to show up.  When you tell a Latino 3pm, it really means anytime that falls within the 3 o’clock hour – from 3:01 (loser!) until 3:59.  Through observation and through marriage to a Colombian, I have decided that 3:59 is by far the most popular time to show up for a 3pm event.  Whenever Max and I schedule a dinner or party, we schedule 2 things – the time to tell people to come and the time we will plan for people to actually show up – usually at least 30 minutes later for dinner, and close to 2 hours later for a party.  If it’s a mix of his friends and my friends, I tell my friends 7:30 so they show up at 7:45 and we tell Max’s friends 7 so they show up by 8pm (for dinner, not a party – we’re not that old yet).  Max plays soccer on Saturdays at 2:30pm – which without fail turns into 3:30 or 4pm, even though every weekend Max insists that this time they really are going to start on time. 

 

Africa:  I know that Africa is a continent full of countries, and that by writing this about the entire continent, I’m being quite presumptuous.  I accept this risk, with the disclaimer that I’m narrowing it down to Sub-Saharan Africa.  While time south of the Border is more like a suggestion, time in Africa eludes all scheduling what-so-ever.  A meeting at 1pm today may occur at 2pm, 5pm, tomorrow at 11am, in 2 weeks, or never.  Time is somehow slippery, evasive – like the spirit of Africa herself, unable to be caged or subjected to our flawed human systems.  South Africans have their own “Ahorita.”  Now means sometime, someday, so if you really mean now, you have to be specific and say “now now.” This could make a lot of people crazy, and I do believe that many Americans and especially Europeans at first go a little crazy trying to figure the whole system out – a system that is somehow mocking us.  “They said 2pm, right?  Yes, I thought so – but its 2:20, do we have the wrong place?”  “I don’t think so…?”  Frustration ensues – indeed builds as it is discovered that the meeting will not be happening, and somehow everyone else knew that, or didn’t plan to show up in the first place, or came and left.  But no one is upset, demanding excuses, or scrutinizing outlook calendars for the next possible option.  Whatever happens happens, and whatever really needs to get done will get done, somehow.  It’s the Motherland. 

 

Europe:  I’ll keep this short and not so sweet, in true European fashion.  No need to sugarcoat or be overly dramatic (as preferred by silly Americans).  2pm means show up at 1:50 because you better be ready for the meeting to start at 1:55.  Excuses not accepted.  Dirty looks will be given to late-comers.  No need to take offense, a round at the pub will take place later.  (A round of non-light beer, to be sure).